When God says "no"

I've had a lot of opportunity in life to rejoice in God's blessings, but also considerable time to think about how to respond when God says no to my prayers.  Aside from just blind faith that he does indeed know what is best for us we also have the human tendency to be disappointed & discouraged when prayers seem to go unanswered.  Well, at least we didn't get the answer "we" wanted!  The word of God says that we must walk by faith & not by sight-in fact, that is why we are a believer to begin with.  We can't see God in person, even though we can admire his exquisite work all around us in the world.  There is no lack of naysayers to tell us he doesn't exist & even if he does he really doesn't much care about our issues because he has bigger things to deal with.  Never mind that his word says if he cares enough about the lowly sparrow how much more does he care for us!  Some would say that God can't keep track of all the issues of the world yet his word says that he knows the number of hairs on our head.  Many would say it takes brains to understand the world was not created by God but I would say it takes brains to understand it was!!  Those who don't believe in prayer believe in self sufficiency.  I have to say that if I have to depend on myself to accomplish things in life then life is going to be tough, & I prove that every time I do not run things by God or listen to what he is telling me.

So, knowing all this why are we still discouraged at the word no from God or from what seems to be his failure to respond to us?  One of the reasons is that our sight is not as broad as his-we can't see from the beginning to the end, but he can.  We further complicate this by having a narrow focus on what we can see-we see what is directly in front of us when it comes to a big request of the Lord.  We do not stop to think about the fact that there may be circumstances to overcome before we receive.  One of these things can be man's free will to move at his own speed & although God may nudge him along we isn't going to usurp that free will.  So if we are waiting on something like an apology from a friend we might never see it especially if we have been quick to forgive a transgression (as well we should) because they can then decide they do not have to apologize anymore!  We are quite good at also not seeing we may be in our own way if we aren't doing what we need to do to make things happen.  Someone once told me to take a chill pill when I was doing all I could & still was frustrated with the lack of an answer from God.  Nevertheless we often are doing whatever we feel like & waiting for God to drop a divine "prize" in our lap.  That does nothing to build our character whatsoever so it probably will not happen.  Not that the Lord doesn't do that at times-he certainly does, but more likely it is because we are being faithful to wait on him, or we aren't even looking for something & he just wants to bless us.  Finally, there are often unseen reasons we are yet waiting for our answer.  Perhaps God is building patience into our life, perhaps it is not the right time for this answer, maybe we made a mistake we don't recognize & the opportunity needs to come around yet again.  If it was a selfish mistake maybe he wants us to have time to realize that.

OK...so how do we build up our inner man to deal with God's "no" or "not now" or "maybe later".  Most of us realize we should look within to be certain we are exercising our faith muscles anyway & are not ignoring personal transgressions.  How we build the faith muscles can be in any number of ways, and best of all is to look at scripture with regard to God's faithfulness to us.  This reminds us of the hope we have in him.  Also, putting ourselves in front of the experience & wisdom of others by listening to sermons & trusted voices of sanity in our lives.  Reading books & stories of God's answer to the prayers of others builds our faith muscles.  One of the things we can fail to do is to ask God to change us-to change our focus from anxiety (which is simply fear) to power as Timothy tells us.  The spirit of fear comes from satan (I always refuse to capitalize his name as a statement of my belief in his defeat) & we can override that with a simple prayer stating our power in Christ to do so.  We will only acknowledge any personal transgressions by listening to the Holy Spirit who is God & is our counselor & does speak to us.  Making ourselves available to conversation with God means being quiet once in awhile & purposefully paying attention.  God doesn't yell-most people hear far more from a lowered voice & he knows that.  God's love is unconditional-his blessings are not.  Parents love their kids no matter what but they deal with them according to their behavior.  If they are well mannered they convert that love to blessing but if they are disobedient they have a different result.  Sometimes it is time to talk about how to change & at times it is time to lose a privilege, & in some circumstances a spanking may be in order!  If not a well placed whack on the behind, at least perhaps a week of doing dishes.  Something must get the child's attention enough to realize a change is in order on their part.  It is no different with us & our heavenly father.

OK...so let's say you feel confident you are walking in the will of God & you are trying your best to trust in him for the answer that is best for you, but you still feel frustrated by whatever the circumstance is.  Now what?  Two things-one, pray for & serve others-it gets your mind off yourself.  Secondly, prevent dwelling on the supposedly unanswered prayer by thinking about other things.  Focus on a project or a hobby or a book or something else that keeps your mind occupied.  Consider fasting as well.  If you don't understand it, study the word on it.   Do not stop praying-God's word tells us to pray at all times.  God wants to know you too are invested in this answer you want. Covet the prayers of others because it takes a certain humility to ask, & praying for one another is indeed God's system!  Do not underestimate satan's interference in some prayer requests & regularly serve notice on him if you feel this is happening.  The word says he has come to kill, steal, & destroy.

Finally, God may be using you in the delay of an answer to build up others who watch your steadfastness. He may be using your circumstance as a stepping stone to greater things or as a learning experience for you or someone else.  Keeping a journal can be very helpful as you can look back at answered prayers & recall times you gave up or wanted to but God answered your prayers & the prayers of others-maybe not in your time, but certainly in sufficient time even though you may not have thought so at the time.  You will also find times that God's reasoning shows through & that had you got your answer you would not have gotten something else very special.   It is crucial to know also that not every answer to prayer will be a resounding yes & to trust that God does indeed know what he is doing & he will take care of you!

Here are just a few scriptures to think about:
James 5:16, Luke 2:37, Phil. 4:8, Rom. 8:26, Mt. 4:2, 1 Peter 3:9, Jn.9:1-3, Mt. 7:9

A key word study can lead you to many more scriptures you may not have thought about for awhile.

HOPE...hope...Hope...

Hope comes in many forms & sizes.  It comes in the big things & the small things-in the simple things & in the complicated things!  I was pondering writing this entry a week ago & when I went to church the sermon was on..you guessed it...hope!  There's a saying that says "hope springs eternal" but sometimes not so much!  We know as believers our hope is in Christ & in Christ alone but we are human & "life happens".  We hope for many things in this life & our ultimate hope of heaven is assured with our salvation.  Some of the things we hope for never come to pass & we must trust the Lord that it really is OK.

When I think of hope I also think of suffering, for those who suffer often have lost hope.  I heard it said that in America we pray for God to remove our suffering but in third world countries they pray for God to help them through it.  Why is that?  Well, for one thing we have a certain degree of  "entitlement" in America I believe but also when you live in physical, mental, &/or financial poverty your expectations are simply to make it to the next day.  In a perfect world we might strike a happy medium but we live in an imperfect world but ... with a perfect God!  Praise his mighty name.  In that sermon pastor said we can make our suffering a moat or a bridge & over the past year I have had more than one chance to put that to the test!  Sometimes we have to do what we have to do whether we want to or not & often we must accept things we would rather not.

 I was recently in the midst of a "financially interesting" week which started with a thousand dollar+ dental bill & ended with a thousand dollar car bill.  I made a very intentional decision to smile, ignore the fact that the car repair was taking way longer than expected with no explanation until I requested one, & place my hope in Christ & him alone!  Oh yes, mid-week the garbage disposal died to add to my fun.  In fact I was out pricing a disposal when the car started a knocking noise!  The Lord truly does care about our everyday issues & I just prayed he would provide.  Right after my dental appointment he had unexpectedly given me some work for the next week & I had worked out a payment plan with the dentist so I was feeling pretty good about that.  Then I sold something I had advertised & it was enough to take care of the disposal which was great as it was creating a major leak under the sink.  I almost feel guilty not just getting along without it & just catching and dumping the leak because I know we pitch more food in this country probably than people have to eat in some places.  It gives me reason to stop & pray for those people I will never see or know who suffer every day.  It created a bridge to take my inconvenience & make of it an opportunity to pray.  Finally I was surprised & very grateful to learn the car place had a great payment plan & they did a fine job with the car.  We must look beyond our circumstance & hope in Christ or we can drown in the moat of discouragement.

There are all sorts of situations people face every day that are far, far worse than my examples from my week yet they rise above it & hold onto the hope of Christ.  I read a book called Hope Beyond Reason written by a wonderful pastor who went through the battle of cancer & hearing about the hope he & his family clung to was incredibly inspiring.  There is a healthy anticipation in the hope in Christ as opposed to the false self confidence we sometimes have.  It is a hope that literally can heal our body, our mind, & our spirit.  NEVER, ever give up....the Lord has never given up on us and he never will.  I have thought about perseverance often the past few months as I have learned that for muscles to heal they must be used over & over again.  There is a lesson in every single day if we look for it.  That is how those many daily devotionals are written!  (write me at ecbcfbt@gmail.com if you would like a copy of the devotional I wrote, or information about it-I am selling the remaining copies to anyone who writes me for $5 pp and I will sell copies of 6 or more for $3.50 pp. and a full case of 90 for $2ea. plus shipping which runs around $15-20 a case).  I am considering publishing a newer, better one down the road a bit.  The one I wrote is on basic Christian living.

Prov. 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick.
Hebr. 6:19-20 We have this as a sure & steadfast anchor of the soul a hope that enters into the inner shrine behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf....
Psalm 71:14 But I will hope continually & praise thee more & more.

(emphasis mine...taken from the RSV-my favorite well worn & torn Bible)

Just a housekeeping note....

Please feel free to share this blog with anyone and my email to anyone who is interested in Biblical Life Coaching (I am a certified Biblical Life Coach & my fees are reasonable-I am also a certified Christian Therapist-I have a Masters in Christian counseling  as well)  You might be able to tell from my blog I love to share how to walk with Jesus & I do email coaching, so folks don't have to live down the road.  Sometimes our walk can be tough & rough but with Jesus the sea always calms.  I still get goosebumps remembering my visit to the Sea of Galilee & knowing my daughter recently saw it from the other side. SO very cool.

Healing, prayers..and golf balls.

This has been the longest season of physical pain in my life but it has brought me closer to the Lord as well it should.  So many scriptures have come to my mind over the months since it started...how the Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle, the thorn that he gave Paul, and so many more.  Healing comes in many ways, and sometimes it does not.  Luke was a physician, but the Lord and his followers healed many supernaturally-just as he does today.  My outstanding issues remaining have been arthritic & sciatic pain, both controlled somewhat by medication.  I accepted the arthritis as a normal part of aging, knowing that the Lord never said life would be free of pain.  The sciatica I have been hoping to have repaired eventually, however the Lord may have another plan.  I should say at this point that many people have prayed many prayers for me for months & the Lord answers prayers in his time not ours.  I am so very grateful for everyone who prayed & I believe I have seen an answer to those faithful prayers & one of the things we should do is share the testimony of what God has done-it is for the encouragement of others.  Often I am reminded to pray especially for those who pray for me.

One of the scriptures I have always liked tells us that we should pray for others that we be healed.  I don't believe that is a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours proposition".  I believe that it means if we are faithful to pray for others the Lord will bless us.  Once in awhile I pick out a few people, or a few circumstances, and I fast & pray over them when I feel so led.  I had done this last week & right after that I had seen my massage therapist who said near the end of my massage that she could possibly help the sciatic pain.  So I had a brief treatment for that & she advised whenever the pain might arise to sit (turns out sciatica can be a literal "pain in the butt" quite frankly) on a golf ball!  After the massage I noticed a great reduction of pain over the next few days & I had immediately cut my medication in half!  Although I continue to hatch golf balls once in awhile ;) my pain continues to be roughly only half what it was or less and I take half the medication.  I believe that the Lord is directly responsible for this.  My medication was at a point where it was giving me many unpleasant side effects & now I do not have them at all!  This has vastly improved my outlook in general say nothing of making life a lot less stressful.

Sometimes I am SO frustrated that we as people do not apply the Word to our lives or that we do not acknowledge what God does in our lives-to him or to others.  Sheep are very dumb animals they say, but we do not need to prove it quite so much!  So, odd as this may seem...the Holy Spirit works even with golf balls, definitely with massage therapists (mine is wonderfully gifted), & absolutely with faithful prayer warriors & application of the scriptures.  It is such a shame that health insurance does not cover massage therapy as I have seen it work wonders, both personally & professionally.  I could not even find a physical therapist that did massage awhile back & that does not even make sense to me!  This testimony would not be complete if I did not add that despite my expectations I have been able to work every flu clinic & health screening event I can schedule this fall & after long months of inability to do any sort of work this is a huge blessing.  Thank you Jesus!

My suggested reading these days:
The Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer on the nature of God  - if we do not understand who God is we cannot be the people he wants us to be!
Both And by Rich Nathan (my pastor) & Insoo Kim on living the Christ-centered life in an either or world-our world is so polarized it is difficult to be a believer and remain balanced & true to our calling.

Walking hand in hand with God.

I have been on a journey of developing a deeper relationship with the Lord.  Recent months of illness have given me a sensitivity to others & their plights & I decided to "fast" from looking at my issues of need or asking anyone to pray for them & I began to focus more on the needs of others & to pray for them more.  I also determined to get to know the Lord better during this time.  It has been a good journey & I came to a place where I felt the Lord beginning to show me things more clearly.  Losing one's independence gives one a feeling of helplessness I had found & he reminded me that many people feel if they give their lives to Christ fully then they will lose the freedom to do as they please.  Just the opposite is true.  If you ask for the presence of the Holy Spirit in your life to be alive and working you will find a freedom you never had before-you will develop the faith that Jesus Christ has your back!  Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom scripture says.  God allows things for a reason.  I was ill and frustrated that I was unable to work, but I began to lean more & more on my Father God for peace which led to me seeing things more clearly & to experience that closer walk I had sought.  There was divine purpose in my situation.

Recently I saw a Christian movie where a young woman sought the Lord & was talking with him about the meaning of various things in the Bible.  The next day in church I sat behind a young lady who resembled that girl I had seen in the movie.  As worship & the word progressed she was very restless.   Normally this would drive me crazy but instead I felt a deep need to pray for her salvation.  I could tell that she just did not want to be there.  The week before I had been deeply touched that the sermon title was The Generous King which spoke to me especially as one of my "needs" requires just that. It spoke of being aware of "bargaining with God" & being bitter due to our "expectations".  It resembled some of the study I had been doing in that we must focus more on the Lord & our walk with him & he will take care of us.  Had I not watched that movie I might not have had the sensitivity to pray for the clearly restless young lady.  God orchestrates things when we open ourselves the the work of his Spirit.  Had I not been trying to see the Lord more clearly I might not have been as blessed as I was by that sermon.  It was one of those times it seemed as though it was just for me.  Ever been there?

As if that was not enough, today's sermon was Waiting for the King which again seemed as if it was meant just for me, as I have been waiting on the Lord for one important thing & then I suddenly had two things to wait for as a result of me having tried to fix the first thing!  Ever been there?  These are the times our faith is tried & if we just give ourselves over to the work of the Lord then we find he takes care of everything.  The message spoke of the foolish & wise virgins, and said that the foolish ones were like a husband being impatient waiting for his wife.  The wise ones were willing to work for their needs while awaiting the King. Sometimes we can just sit there tapping our foot impatiently or we can do what we can do & trust the rest to the Lord & rest in him.  Our lifestyles have taught us we must have every convenience which can lead to impatience, laziness, & entitlement.  Pastor talked about being the bride of the King (which I had been studying), our position while experiencing the delay of the King (the virgins all fell asleep, yet the wise ones had sufficient oil).  The sleep of the wise is peaceful.   Then I heard "The two main ways God changes us is pain & waiting" and it certainly struck a cord.  I certainly have had plenty of that recently, but....I am coming out the other side walking closer with God.  The situation pressed me to seek the Lord more than answers, & to develop the faith that he will supply them all in due time.

We must be open to the Holy Spirit & allow the Lord to use our circumstances to draw us closer to him & to think more of others than ourselves.  (Seems there is a scripture about that!)  He is so generous he allows us to serve him, & if we do so he will in turn  be looking out for our welfare.
Mt. 20:1-16 The Generous King
Mt. 25: 1-13 Waiting for the King
Contemplating & studying the parables of Jesus is an important task, & it also struck me that I had recently decided to spend some time just looking at the words of Christ.  There is a book called The Hard Sayings of Jesus by FF Bruce.  We must understand Jesus to be closer to him and this understanding comes through prayer, study, and hearing of the word of God.  The very first song today has been one that has blessed me repeatedly in recent months.  Some of the words are  "your love never fails,  never gives up on me, never runs out" & when things "come together" like I have described it is a confirmation from the Lord that you are headed in the right direction & he is right there beside you every step of the way.

Knowing God intimately - the key to victory!

The word "intimate" in reference to God may scare people, but remember God himself says that we are his "bride".  That is a pretty intimate statement.  Our relationship progresses from being a lump of clay on the potter's wheel at salvation to being the bride of Christ!  One might liken it to the introduction of a new person who eventually becomes your spouse, in that the relationship must grow & evolve.  At first, we are like sheep following a shepherd, and he says we know his voice as such.  Many get stuck there, not always understanding the voice of God & feeling they are guessing at whether they heard it or not.  One may "test" the spirits the Word says...& so we can line up what we think we heard against scripture or how we feel against scripture to see if it is the Holy Spirit or the spirit of the evil one.  One basic consideration is peace versus confusion as when God speaks a word of wisdom to you there is peace attached.  When satan speaks to us, there is confusion incorporated into that attempt to walk us down the wrong path.  If we are honest, we all have at some time followed the wrong voice.  Satan will use that to beat us up repeatedly reminding us of our mistakes & sins, but God can use that to teach us how to hear more clearly next time.

Getting back to intimacy, as we walk with God we learn that he is the master & we delight in knowing we are his servant as we do things in the kingdom for him.  From the shut-in who is a valiant prayer warrior for others to the missionary who puts themselves in harm's way so that they can witness for Christ & everything in between, people learn to work for & with God.  It is at this point that I think sometimes a disconnect occurs.  We are saved, we are trying to hear the voice of God, & we are serving him.  Suddenly it is like a brick wall surrounds our prayers, God has disappeared from sight, & we are unsure who we are in Christ!  Someone suggests that we are a friend of God & that he is our closest friend, always at the ready to help us.  Someone else may suggest that he is our parent, & as so, we are the child of a king, entitled to the prosperity, dignity, & resources of a king.  We may mentally accept that he is our best friend & that we are his child, but emotionally we still feel defeat in moving our life forward spiritually, practically, & emotionally.  Confusion creeps in as the enemy of our soul invades our thoughts & reminds us of past mistakes, developing fear in our minds about any future victory.

It is at this juncture we need to take a look at the degree of intimacy we have with the Lord, & ask ourselves how well we really "know" the Lord.  Knowing him means feeling wrapped in his love as you would feel wrapped in the love of a betrothed, & it means feeling that "connection" in communication with him that induces a strong sense of security much like putting in a security system in your home that is connected to the police, fire, & rescue stations.  Knowing God is to have a feeling of immense protection & the ability to have very intimate conversation at any time.  OK, that sounds very nice but how do we get there?  I believe it is through praise & worship that we should draw so close to God that we are inspired, awed, or excited about our closeness to him.  Folks use the terms interchangeably but they are not the same-you might praise your Mom for a job well done at work, but you would not worship her.  Worship is a term meant for God alone, despite the fact that we have come to worship idols in our lives we do not even realize.  What you expend the most emotion on, that is not God, is your idol.  For some it is money, for some it can be alcohol, sex, power, pride, etc. 

My experience has been that praise should lead into worship whether at home or at church.  When you enter into praising God for all he is & has done for you it should bring you "into his presence" which is a glorious place-the presence of the king of kings is a quiet humbling place where you are so in awe of his majesty you bow, whether in your heart or physically.  This can occur in song or in prayer-it is a deeply spiritual place where you feel so comfortable & open to his spirit that your knowledge of him & relationship with him grows & deepens.  The word says that we are a kingdom of priests.  In the Old Testament we read about the Holy of Holies where only the priests are allowed to go.  We, as priests, can enter the Holy of Holies, which is the very presence of God!  Just as it would be difficult for Old Testament believers to understand what the Holy of Holies was like, it is difficult today to understand the very intimate presence of the Lord unless we have been there.  I would suggest that getting there simply requires an open mind & a patient quiet spirit as you praise him in song or prayer.  At some point you will feel the Holy Spirit move you into genuine "worship" & that is when you know you are indeed in his presence-you can literally feel it surrounding you.  When we voluntarily accept Christ as our personal savior we are indwelt by the Holy Spirit, but it is at these times that we are filled with the H.S. to overflowing.  As this intimacy grows it becomes much more evident in our everyday life in that we come into his presence much more quickly, often in an instant.  You can literally feel him suddenly surround you with his presence & peace.  I have at times had this happen unexpectedly, as one might have a friend just drop in one day to say hello.  Not knowing why he desires this intimate closeness I just begin to pray or sing & praise to him.  He may or may not show me why he suddenly wanted to be up close & very personal but I always know there was a reason & I am blessed to have had some time in the Holy of Holies!

So, back to why this is the key to victory...well, in a normal human relationships it is intimate closeness ( I mean this as an emotional, mental connection not a physical one) that we have the most victorious results.  When we are down & out who comes to the rescue?  Who accepts us just as we are?  Who doesn't judge us when we make a mistake, but encourage us to get up and go on?  This is a picture of God & is the reflection of a Godly person.  (This is why marriages with the greatest of sexual intimacy can fail if there is not mental/emotional intimacy.  It is also why friendships built on fun & nothing else can fail.)  So, what victorious results do we want to have aside from the wonderful experience of being so close to the Father, Son, & Holy Spirit?  Most of us want our prayers answered, to have peace in our everyday life, & we need to have the level of trust in God that this closeness brings.  We also want to understand the scriptures well, & there is something about intimacy with the writer that makes the words they write come alive.  Therefore, I submit that the closer we are to God the better we know how to pray, feel secure in him, & conduct our lives.

Intimacy with God-seeing him as Daddy, friend, & even husband is not a common teaching in many churches and I have to wonder why.  Probably for the same reason having a personal, voluntary acceptance of Christ as savior is not taught.  It is a failure to understand the most simple of scriptures where there is no true acceptance of Christ, & as if you do not know a person you cannot be intimate with them. If you do not know God in the most simplest of terms you cannot progress to an intimate relationship with him.  We must not forget in this that Jesus left the Holy Spirit as our counselor & the way to hear the counselor is to have close relationship with him.  In spite of the scriptures' description of who he is as a part of the Godhead many continue to see him as some unknown that is in our heart & is represented externally as a dove.  He isn't a dove or an unknown-he is God!  For years I didn't really understand the trinity until I realized the three persons are similar to how we can be a child, parent, friend all at one time! 

Scriptures to help understand knowing God intimately (don't forget to read the ones before & after):
Jn. 10:3, 27 show if you heard his voice once you can continue to.  This is not to say it won't be a challenge at times!
2 Jn 4:1 Sometimes God speaks to us through others, but this scripture explains that we must be cautious in who we listen to.
1 Jn. 4:13-21 Fear or unforgiveness often interferes with our ability to hear God.  We don't often recognize anxieties stem from fear, or that we've really not forgiven someone.  These things can block conversation with God.  Remember in 2 Tim.1:7 we are told we do not have a spirit of fear!
Rev. 1:6 In both the Old Testament & the New Testament believers are called a kingdom of priests.  (You'll find another reference in Exodus.) This gives us privilege with God.

So, move beyond into the Holy of Holies in your conversations with God (don't just talk at God, speak with God).  Remember this means you must first truly worship God so you can be in his presence.  An attitude of worship when approaching the Lord means everything!  (Thankfulness, praise, & humility can become second nature to us when approaching the Lord.)  Have victory in prayer, with your relationship with the Lord, & in life.  When Christ was crucified for us the curtain in the Holy of Holies was torn allowing all access to the intimate presence of God.  It belongs to every Christian forever.


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             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