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When God says "no"

I've had a lot of opportunity in life to rejoice in God's blessings, but also considerable time to think about how to respond when God says no to my prayers.  Aside from just blind faith that he does indeed know what is best for us we also have the human tendency to be disappointed & discouraged when prayers seem to go unanswered.  Well, at least we didn't get the answer "we" wanted!  The word of God says that we must walk by faith & not by sight-in fact, that is why we are a believer to begin with.  We can't see God in person, even though we can admire his exquisite work all around us in the world.  There is no lack of naysayers to tell us he doesn't exist & even if he does he really doesn't much care about our issues because he has bigger things to deal with.  Never mind that his word says if he cares enough about the lowly sparrow how much more does he care for us!  Some would say that God can't keep track of all the issues of the world yet his word says that he knows the number of hairs on our head.  Many would say it takes brains to understand the world was not created by God but I would say it takes brains to understand it was!!  Those who don't believe in prayer believe in self sufficiency.  I have to say that if I have to depend on myself to accomplish things in life then life is going to be tough, & I prove that every time I do not run things by God or listen to what he is telling me.

So, knowing all this why are we still discouraged at the word no from God or from what seems to be his failure to respond to us?  One of the reasons is that our sight is not as broad as his-we can't see from the beginning to the end, but he can.  We further complicate this by having a narrow focus on what we can see-we see what is directly in front of us when it comes to a big request of the Lord.  We do not stop to think about the fact that there may be circumstances to overcome before we receive.  One of these things can be man's free will to move at his own speed & although God may nudge him along we isn't going to usurp that free will.  So if we are waiting on something like an apology from a friend we might never see it especially if we have been quick to forgive a transgression (as well we should) because they can then decide they do not have to apologize anymore!  We are quite good at also not seeing we may be in our own way if we aren't doing what we need to do to make things happen.  Someone once told me to take a chill pill when I was doing all I could & still was frustrated with the lack of an answer from God.  Nevertheless we often are doing whatever we feel like & waiting for God to drop a divine "prize" in our lap.  That does nothing to build our character whatsoever so it probably will not happen.  Not that the Lord doesn't do that at times-he certainly does, but more likely it is because we are being faithful to wait on him, or we aren't even looking for something & he just wants to bless us.  Finally, there are often unseen reasons we are yet waiting for our answer.  Perhaps God is building patience into our life, perhaps it is not the right time for this answer, maybe we made a mistake we don't recognize & the opportunity needs to come around yet again.  If it was a selfish mistake maybe he wants us to have time to realize that.

OK...so how do we build up our inner man to deal with God's "no" or "not now" or "maybe later".  Most of us realize we should look within to be certain we are exercising our faith muscles anyway & are not ignoring personal transgressions.  How we build the faith muscles can be in any number of ways, and best of all is to look at scripture with regard to God's faithfulness to us.  This reminds us of the hope we have in him.  Also, putting ourselves in front of the experience & wisdom of others by listening to sermons & trusted voices of sanity in our lives.  Reading books & stories of God's answer to the prayers of others builds our faith muscles.  One of the things we can fail to do is to ask God to change us-to change our focus from anxiety (which is simply fear) to power as Timothy tells us.  The spirit of fear comes from satan (I always refuse to capitalize his name as a statement of my belief in his defeat) & we can override that with a simple prayer stating our power in Christ to do so.  We will only acknowledge any personal transgressions by listening to the Holy Spirit who is God & is our counselor & does speak to us.  Making ourselves available to conversation with God means being quiet once in awhile & purposefully paying attention.  God doesn't yell-most people hear far more from a lowered voice & he knows that.  God's love is unconditional-his blessings are not.  Parents love their kids no matter what but they deal with them according to their behavior.  If they are well mannered they convert that love to blessing but if they are disobedient they have a different result.  Sometimes it is time to talk about how to change & at times it is time to lose a privilege, & in some circumstances a spanking may be in order!  If not a well placed whack on the behind, at least perhaps a week of doing dishes.  Something must get the child's attention enough to realize a change is in order on their part.  It is no different with us & our heavenly father.

OK...so let's say you feel confident you are walking in the will of God & you are trying your best to trust in him for the answer that is best for you, but you still feel frustrated by whatever the circumstance is.  Now what?  Two things-one, pray for & serve others-it gets your mind off yourself.  Secondly, prevent dwelling on the supposedly unanswered prayer by thinking about other things.  Focus on a project or a hobby or a book or something else that keeps your mind occupied.  Consider fasting as well.  If you don't understand it, study the word on it.   Do not stop praying-God's word tells us to pray at all times.  God wants to know you too are invested in this answer you want. Covet the prayers of others because it takes a certain humility to ask, & praying for one another is indeed God's system!  Do not underestimate satan's interference in some prayer requests & regularly serve notice on him if you feel this is happening.  The word says he has come to kill, steal, & destroy.

Finally, God may be using you in the delay of an answer to build up others who watch your steadfastness. He may be using your circumstance as a stepping stone to greater things or as a learning experience for you or someone else.  Keeping a journal can be very helpful as you can look back at answered prayers & recall times you gave up or wanted to but God answered your prayers & the prayers of others-maybe not in your time, but certainly in sufficient time even though you may not have thought so at the time.  You will also find times that God's reasoning shows through & that had you got your answer you would not have gotten something else very special.   It is crucial to know also that not every answer to prayer will be a resounding yes & to trust that God does indeed know what he is doing & he will take care of you!

Here are just a few scriptures to think about:
James 5:16, Luke 2:37, Phil. 4:8, Rom. 8:26, Mt. 4:2, 1 Peter 3:9, Jn.9:1-3, Mt. 7:9

A key word study can lead you to many more scriptures you may not have thought about for awhile.