This has indeed been the winter of trials & tribulations for me. In the midst of working at a 3rd job last fall/winter I was overcome with pain in my legs. This led to many Dr. visits & tests, and a lot of confusion. Eventually I was diagnosed with 2 things, given medication & did Physical Therapy. Things seemed to be improving when suddenly I was overtaken with leg pain again in one of my legs. After some trial & error this also was diagnosed and I am currently undergoing more treatment & praying for complete healing of this severe pain that can come on so very unexpectedly & last way longer than one would expect. Despite months of discouragement at being pretty much imprisoned by my affliction it has given me the opportunity to reflect on what I can learn from it & how I can grow spiritually as a result.
One very practical lesson has been an insight into what it must be like to those who are permanently disabled. When I see a soldier on TV who has lost all four limbs and is pushing through the loss to greater things it brings tears to my eyes as I have a tiny idea of how imprisoned he was at first by this. When I hear someone criticize or look with judgement at a person who is disabled it makes me righteously angry! It has become evident to me that many places have a lack of adequate handicapped spaces, & if I ever see someone who is not disabled use one of those spaces I will be very incensed! I have had the unhappy experience at least 3 times of thinking I could not possibly physically walk another step being a reality! As I have talked to people I have heard stories of people being judged for using handicapped helps because their handicap was not visible. These folks must feel very sad when this happens.
James says in 5:16 "...pray for one another that you may be healed." In 5:13 he says "Is any one among you suffering? Let him pray." When you are in a lot of pain your prayers can be pretty short & pleading, so I asked everyone I could think of to pray-I worked that scripture to the max! I also prayed that those who prayed for me would be blessed & healed. I learned long ago that when you are confronted with a problem you go to God's word & figure out how to deal with it. I am so thankful for all the prayers said on my behalf & God is answering them...maybe not as fast as I want, but in his time for his reasons. I trust that he does bless those who pray for others because his word says so!
James declares in 1:2-3 "Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. As I have gone through this trial I have thought a great deal about the testing of faith, & that is a good thing to understand. It is those who walk in faith that are victorious in the righteous things in life. James 1:4 says " And let steadfast have it's full effect, that you may be perfect & complete, lacking in nothing. It is a fact that we live in a fallen world and these trials will befall us, but what the enemy means for ruin God uses for good. Everything that we experience we can turn into a blessing, if in no other way but we can appreciate others who go through similar things and perhaps be of comfort to them. We may find a cause we want to support for the betterment of lives, we may dig into the Word and see things we never did before.
1 Peter 5:10 has been my ministry verse for years as a Christian counselor. It says "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, establish, & strengthen you." I sure have wanted to be restored & strengthened these past few months! As we look at verses 6-9 Peter speaks of humility, giving the Lord your anxieties, being watchful for the enemy and resisting him. I can tell you being even temporarily disabled can be humbling! I know some folks let it make them angry & resentful but that only makes the situation worse. Watching for the attacks of satan (I refuse to capitalize his name!) & resisting him is all important. Many folks have no idea how to do this. One very effectual way is seen in Ephesians 6: 10-18. Understanding & spiritually wearing the armor of God is essential for the victorious believer. When I prayed the scriptures in the midst of this trial I saw results! It drove discouragement right out the window! Peter also tell us that suffering is required of all the brotherhood throughout the world (5:9) & I have learned that you can always think of someone worse off & pray for them instead of dwell on your own afflictions.
Most recently Isaiah 40:31 has helped me count it all joy as it says "but they that wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." This has been a 6 month waiting game and it isn't quite over yet & I certainly want to be renewed & walk without fainting & even run again! As frustrating & confining as this affliction has been, it has also been an opportunity to grow. Everything in life is such an opportunity if we apply the Word of God to it & do our best to live it. We often wonder why God allows such things but if we accept them & let him teach us we can be actually thankful for the affliction & find the blessings in it. We can be stronger, wiser, & perhaps more understanding of the really afflicted in this world. Ecclesiastes 2 tells us "there is a time to heal" as well as a " a time to speak". I am waiting for the healing expectantly & ready to share the lessons of the period of affliction.
BUT WAIT........................
At this point as I was claiming Isaiah 40:31, not so surprisingly, I was struck down yet again! Praying for the ability to just walk again without pain or "faint"...I did exactly that! I fainted-completely out of the blue-no warning! I awoke to find all strength had simply flowed out of my body so I called 911 & then I called my son. The next 5 days are mostly a blur except for the enormous blessing of having my son faithfully at my side in the worst of it and faithfully keeping on top of the matter & letting my other children know how I was. I was kept in bed for most of this time, given medications via IVs, poked, prodded & tested & scanned more times than I can recall. My lack of strength left little ability to pray except to bless those who were lifting me in prayer. My days were spent in & out of sleep, staring blankly at the TV, & having a variety of Drs. come & go. Having been admitted to the step-down unit I was also placed on a heart monitor for the length of the stay. My spirits only arose when one of my kids called or my son walked in, & the day I had a call from my son half way around the world I probably lit up the room with my smile. Eventually with a diagnosis of dehydration, probable infection &/or some blood flow issues, and a couple of minor heart arrhythmia's I was declared well with all tests normal. Praise God for that!
It would be wonderful if that was the end of the story, but I came home weaker than I ever thought I could be (before this now 6+ month experience) & now having to rebuild my strength from days in bed. It is a slow process, one day at a time, one small step at a time, to regain one's strength. So what now to be learned from this journey? Well, scripture tells us in Prov. 15:13 " A glad heart makes a cheerful countenance..." This was proven to be true when my daughters traveled several hours & visited to help me and to encourage me. Amazing what a bouquet of flowers, a scrabble game, a few much needed chores done can do for a person's emotional health. My son's wife carted me to endless appointments it seemed and ran errands for me over this entire time...something I have done for a few over the years...and it dawned on me...his rewards do come from the work we do for him, and just when we need them. Being "doers of the word" as James says in 1:22 is so important, no matter what the form, as in doing so we fulfill the laws & promises of God! Col. 3:17 says "...do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus..." Many people will do things to get something in return, but the person who just does something to help for no reason other than that is the person you want to see when you are down & out! The apostle Paul wrote letters of encouragement often & the cards, emails, & phone calls I got from family, friends, & even folks who barely knew me encouraged me to not give up, but to march on. One verse especially helped me-after the enemy trying to take me out for praying the Isaiah verse my daughter prayed Ps.29:11 for me-"the Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace." A very few days after that I was strong again! I also had peace for the first time that I would get past this ordeal & be healthy yet again.
Romans 15:4 states "For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that by steadfastness & by the encouragement of the scriptures we might have hope." This says to me that our Bible was meant to be studied & appropriately interpreted so that we might avail ourselves of the very spirit of God that counseled the men of Bible times. God is Father, Son, & Holy Spirit-creator, savior, counselor...all ever present at creation, at salvation, & forever at our side! In Jn.2:5 Jesus' mother said to the servants " Do whatever he tells you." This is what each of us is called to do...whatever he tells us..it isn't a fake it (dead religion) until you make it deal, it is a real deal! Every day the world makes a deal with the devil every second, but...God's people make a deal with him even more so. This is why people transverse the globe at their own peril & cost to spread the Good News-this is why people pray without ceasing-this is why people do all sorts of things-because he said to! He has told me that what I should do right now is to share what I learned in this foggy spot of my life, but even more so to spend some time this summer in extended prayer & study of the word...so that is what I shall do, for whatever his purpose might be.
Lest you think I am a bit nutty for getting this much out of a brief (comparatively) non-life threatening experience I can only say, I call 'em as I see 'em & the Lord used this time to give me some inner reflection & reminders of what his word says & how it works. That, my friend, kept me connected and encouraged even when I felt horrible and maybe like I might die! I think I told him at least once if that was what he had in mind, just hurry it up!! The purpose of this blog is to encourage readers in their life but also in their walk...to motivate them to read God's word in a new light-the light of - it is the manual for life. And, if they do not have a personal life changing relationship with Christ, to seek it. That conscious decision to give ourselves wholly to him is the single most important decision we ever make. If you know anyone who will be encouraged to read this entry or others, or who might actually find the Lord among the lines of this blog, please send them here. The only cost is a few minutes of their time-few things in life are so free, except of course the gift of salvation, & that can take just a moment of submission.
"The Lord bless you & keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you & be gracious to you: the Lord lift up his countenance upon you & give you peace."
Numbers 6:24-26
BUT WAIT........................
At this point as I was claiming Isaiah 40:31, not so surprisingly, I was struck down yet again! Praying for the ability to just walk again without pain or "faint"...I did exactly that! I fainted-completely out of the blue-no warning! I awoke to find all strength had simply flowed out of my body so I called 911 & then I called my son. The next 5 days are mostly a blur except for the enormous blessing of having my son faithfully at my side in the worst of it and faithfully keeping on top of the matter & letting my other children know how I was. I was kept in bed for most of this time, given medications via IVs, poked, prodded & tested & scanned more times than I can recall. My lack of strength left little ability to pray except to bless those who were lifting me in prayer. My days were spent in & out of sleep, staring blankly at the TV, & having a variety of Drs. come & go. Having been admitted to the step-down unit I was also placed on a heart monitor for the length of the stay. My spirits only arose when one of my kids called or my son walked in, & the day I had a call from my son half way around the world I probably lit up the room with my smile. Eventually with a diagnosis of dehydration, probable infection &/or some blood flow issues, and a couple of minor heart arrhythmia's I was declared well with all tests normal. Praise God for that!
It would be wonderful if that was the end of the story, but I came home weaker than I ever thought I could be (before this now 6+ month experience) & now having to rebuild my strength from days in bed. It is a slow process, one day at a time, one small step at a time, to regain one's strength. So what now to be learned from this journey? Well, scripture tells us in Prov. 15:13 " A glad heart makes a cheerful countenance..." This was proven to be true when my daughters traveled several hours & visited to help me and to encourage me. Amazing what a bouquet of flowers, a scrabble game, a few much needed chores done can do for a person's emotional health. My son's wife carted me to endless appointments it seemed and ran errands for me over this entire time...something I have done for a few over the years...and it dawned on me...his rewards do come from the work we do for him, and just when we need them. Being "doers of the word" as James says in 1:22 is so important, no matter what the form, as in doing so we fulfill the laws & promises of God! Col. 3:17 says "...do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus..." Many people will do things to get something in return, but the person who just does something to help for no reason other than that is the person you want to see when you are down & out! The apostle Paul wrote letters of encouragement often & the cards, emails, & phone calls I got from family, friends, & even folks who barely knew me encouraged me to not give up, but to march on. One verse especially helped me-after the enemy trying to take me out for praying the Isaiah verse my daughter prayed Ps.29:11 for me-"the Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace." A very few days after that I was strong again! I also had peace for the first time that I would get past this ordeal & be healthy yet again.
Romans 15:4 states "For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that by steadfastness & by the encouragement of the scriptures we might have hope." This says to me that our Bible was meant to be studied & appropriately interpreted so that we might avail ourselves of the very spirit of God that counseled the men of Bible times. God is Father, Son, & Holy Spirit-creator, savior, counselor...all ever present at creation, at salvation, & forever at our side! In Jn.2:5 Jesus' mother said to the servants " Do whatever he tells you." This is what each of us is called to do...whatever he tells us..it isn't a fake it (dead religion) until you make it deal, it is a real deal! Every day the world makes a deal with the devil every second, but...God's people make a deal with him even more so. This is why people transverse the globe at their own peril & cost to spread the Good News-this is why people pray without ceasing-this is why people do all sorts of things-because he said to! He has told me that what I should do right now is to share what I learned in this foggy spot of my life, but even more so to spend some time this summer in extended prayer & study of the word...so that is what I shall do, for whatever his purpose might be.
Lest you think I am a bit nutty for getting this much out of a brief (comparatively) non-life threatening experience I can only say, I call 'em as I see 'em & the Lord used this time to give me some inner reflection & reminders of what his word says & how it works. That, my friend, kept me connected and encouraged even when I felt horrible and maybe like I might die! I think I told him at least once if that was what he had in mind, just hurry it up!! The purpose of this blog is to encourage readers in their life but also in their walk...to motivate them to read God's word in a new light-the light of - it is the manual for life. And, if they do not have a personal life changing relationship with Christ, to seek it. That conscious decision to give ourselves wholly to him is the single most important decision we ever make. If you know anyone who will be encouraged to read this entry or others, or who might actually find the Lord among the lines of this blog, please send them here. The only cost is a few minutes of their time-few things in life are so free, except of course the gift of salvation, & that can take just a moment of submission.
"The Lord bless you & keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you & be gracious to you: the Lord lift up his countenance upon you & give you peace."
Numbers 6:24-26
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